you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
