Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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