She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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