meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I accidentally burped into my bong.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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