The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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