my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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