i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
