Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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