It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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