just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
