Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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