Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
