when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
