like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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