she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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