There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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