Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
What happened to fro yo and sex?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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