You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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