A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm always down for nudity.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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