Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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