That's intense
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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