The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
