Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
