you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
