dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
