sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
