sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
