She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
