Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
