my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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