so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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