He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
