at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
