I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
