And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
