just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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