He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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