Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
