I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Actions speak louder than pants.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
