Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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