i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
