Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
dude. I can hear the air.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
