i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
