what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
