I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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