their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
