moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
