Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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