I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I FOUND THE LEGS
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
