Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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