Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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